Through Your Eyes: Story Behind the Song

I’ve received quite a few emails asking about the meaning/message of Through Your Eyes. I thought I’d take a little time to explain here on the blog. When we decided to include Through Your Eyes on Faint Not, I thought we’d record it, put it out there, and never play it at shows. Turns out it’s one of our most requested songs. I think it’s because we can all relate to it on a certain level.

I wrote Through Your Eyes just over a year ago. At the time I was on an antiepileptic drug that I’d been taking for a couple years. For the most part the drug controlled my seizures, but it made me extremely tired. I kept taking it because I thought the benefit of having mostly controlled seizures outweighed the constant weariness. But I was wrong. Within a year and a half or so of starting the medication, I found myself in a pretty deep depression. It’s funny how it can creep up on you. First you find yourself sleeping a little longer than normal. Then you start avoiding your friends and coming up with excuses not to attend parties or social events. I began baking a lot. And eating a lot. I stopped writing and reading (two of my very favorite things!) and started watching a lot of TV. We moved to Nashville at the beginning of all of this. Not having many friends made it even easier to isolate myself.

Somehow, I thought I was fine. I think it’s because I didn’t actually feel much. I never felt very happy, but I didn’t feel sad much either. Every once in a while I’d break down, but I figured that was just a part of being me. I can be pretty emotional as it is.

Satan really used that time to mess with me. He told me I wasn’t good enough. That I didn’t deserve love. That Tyler shouldn’t love me. He said that my songs were meaningless because I was fake. That I wasn’t good at anything. That I didn’t need anybody….no one needed know about any of this.

And for a while I believed him. I didn’t talk to anyone about it because I didn’t think anyone cared. I was selfish and wouldn’t let anyone in, even if they tried.

Throughout all of this Tyler continued to love me. He prayed for me. He tried to understand. We moved in with our friends Mike and Erin in January of 2010 and Erin really pursued me and loved me. One day in April I decided to write. I decided to just be honest. Through Your Eyes was born. The line at the end, “I want to see myself through Your Eyes,” is a desperate cry to see myself as the Lord sees me: a beautiful daughter of the King. Redeemed. Loved. Forgiven. Sanctified. The list goes on.

Shortly after I wrote the song I decided I had to get off the medicine I was taking. I switched to a new drug early last fall and I feel so much better. AND I’ve only had one full blown seizure since then. It’s amazing. The Lord is amazing.

Back to why Through Your Eyes has been popular: We can all relate to this in some way or another. You don’t have to be in a deep depression to be doing battle with the enemy. We all fight. And we don’t talk about it enough. It’s difficult to be that vulnerable with each other. But talking about it makes us stronger. I really believe that.

The first time we played Through Your Eyes I felt like I was standing up in front of a bunch of people completely naked. It was terrifying. As we’ve continued to play it, it’s become very liberating. It’s also opened the door for conversation before and after the show.

I hope this helps you understand the song a bit better. Thanks to all who have asked about it.

-Jenny

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20 responses

  1. I can totally relate to this. I spent half of my time in college believing the lies I was told. Your song gives me hope that I am not alone, and makes things a little easier. Thanks!

  2. Oh my goodness! Thanks sooooo much for this! I went thru pretty bad depression last year which was pretty crazy for an outgoing bubbly personality like me. But I had no idea what was going on at the time! I’m still dealing with the after affects of it all now and learning to combat Satan’s lies! This is such an encouragement!! Thanks! Keep on keeping on!! God Bless!!

  3. this is amazing, Jenny
    thank you so much for sharing such a personal experience that you went through, it just goes to show how He really is almighty and how sometimes we overlook that. this song and your story behind is something i really need right now and a huge encouragement. i find it hard to stand strong against the devil’s harsh words and discouraging insults but i’m hoping for courage and to find my self-worth in Him instead of the enemy.

    thank you so much for this, you and Tyler are truly an inspiration
    God is using the two of you in such magnificent and wonderful ways 🙂

  4. I was listening to this song on the way to class yesterday morning and it hit me how much this song reflected exactly how I was feeling. I’m not gonna write a diary entry here haha, but I stopped to take in a deep breathe and just talk to God in that moment on my way towards my lab.

    I was going to e-mail y’all about the meaning, but I realized you’ve probably gotten questions about it before. So I googled it, and here it is.

    Thank you for sharing something deep and personal about yourself. It inspires me as much it does everyone else who can relate to the song. It gives me hope that someday I can do the same.

  5. Pingback: through His eyes | kristenmarie

  6. I just heard this song today. I have been under a lot of stress lately and even though im not on a drug or anything i have been depressed lately and satan has definately gotten a hold on my life, which has really made it hard for me to worship and enjoy God’s presence, and just hearing this song made me feel like somebody loved me again. thank you so much.

    Hannah Mae

  7. Thank you for telling us your story. As I was reading it I realized that you were describing me exactly. Your song has encouraged me and is helping me every day. If you can get through it, so can I. Thank you so much.

  8. This was the first track that I shared with my wife. I shared it because it is (simply put) a beautiful track and really pulls at the soul (in a good/God way). We both wondered where the verses came from, as in the origin and what they meant. Thank you for sharing yourself, Jenny, in this track and glad to know that you are much better, through God and with the help of those that love you. Keep it up Tyler!
    Blessings,
    Trevor

    • Also, when you two going to come to beautiful CO? I’d seriously work on spreading the word about it to ensure a good amount of folks know you’d be coming here. ;o)

  9. Jenny,
    Thank you for sharing this. I just found out about you and Tyler about a month ago and your songs have been on reply every day since then. I have enjoyed listening to your songs and the Lord has just been speaking to me like crazy especially through this song. Thank you so much for just being real with your fans. Not many songwriters are like that. Praying for you sweet sister in Christ.

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